The Grieving Process

Your grieving process frequently starts with denial. Your mind automatically intervenes to protect you when a loss seems too great to handle; it pushes unpleasant reality aside and delays accepting what has happened completely. This is a healthy coping strategy that enables you to deal with grief in small, manageable doses; it is neither avoidance nor weakness. Denial shields you from sudden, overwhelming destruction by allowing you to only take in information that you are emotionally prepared to handle. Denial softens as you gradually come to terms with your loss. Your emotions come to the surface more fully, the truth of your circumstances becomes more apparent, and the deeper healing process can start.

Anger, which can sometimes come suddenly and other times develop gradually, follows the initial shock of loss. You might be looking for someone or something to blame, such as God for taking your loved one, the medical staff for not doing more, yourself for unspoken words, or your loved one for abandoning you. These resentful, angry emotions can be frightening or even embarrassing. However, they are neither abnormal nor incorrect. Anger is an essential component of our reactions to significant loss. It's how your heart expresses its disapproval of death's injustice. Know that if you're feeling angry while grieving, it's a common emotion shared by many people who have also experienced grief. These emotions are natural, legitimate, and a necessary first step on the road to acceptance and recovery.

The initial shock of loss is frequently followed by anger, which may come suddenly or develop gradually underneath. You may be looking for someone to blame—God for taking your loved one, the medical staff for not doing more, yourself for unspoken words, or your loved one for abandoning you. These angry and resentful emotions can be frightening or humiliating. However, they are neither abnormal nor incorrect. Anger is a normal and necessary reaction to significant loss. It's how your heart protests the unfairness of death. If you're feeling angry during your grieving process, know that this is a common emotion among many people who have also gone through a similar experience. These emotions are real, acceptable, and a crucial beginning point on your path to healing and acceptance. Try again

Depression often arrives as a difficult phase of grief. You may feel deeply empty, as though part of you has gone. This stage can feel endless—the pain seeming it will never lift. You might question whether life is worth continuing without your loved one. These dark thoughts are terrifyingly common. Depression is one of the most natural coping mechanisms for profound loss. If you're not feeling depressed after losing someone you love, that would be unusual. Accepting that your loved one won't return is heartbreakingly difficult. But this is normal grief. Be gentle with yourself. With time and support, healing will come.

Acceptance is often misunderstood as being "completely fine." True acceptance is different. It means acknowledging your new reality—that your loved one is no longer physically present. This adjustment is uncomfortable. You may at first try to continue life as it was before they passed. But over time, acceptance allows you to adapt to this new normal, finding peace and learning to live again. It's natural to feel guilty about moving forward. But healing doesn't mean forgetting your loved one. You can honor them by forming new connections and relationships, by carrying their memory forward while embracing life. Grieving is deeply personal and takes time. Allow yourself to move through it at your own pace. With compassion for yourself and support from those who care, you will find your way to a life that includes both your loss and your healing.